I'm A Legal Alien Now

Sunday, July 16, 2006

I'm a Homeless Bum Now Mummy

I moved out of the Casa del Crackhouse and thanks to the miracles of Hotwire.com got into one of DC's finest hotels, a $500/night room for only $100/night. It was swell.

Only now I'm homeless. Last night I slept at the Social Secretary's place, and tonight I'm moving into the Visa Manager's condo. I'm typing this in a cafe at Dupont Circle and I feel fat, fat, fat. Where are the fat Americans I was promised? Everyone here is lean and buff. It may have something to do with this being so very very gay round here (as hinted by the address bar in Explorer- "www.google.com, www.hotmail.com, www.rentboy.com, www.manhunt.com" and so on.

Speaking of which, I looked at a room last night way out in Arlington. It would've been great had it been a bit closer to work (minimal PT). The two guys (one of whom would've been my room-mate) were this really pretty gay guys aged 23 and 25. They were cute in a pretty-young-gay sort of way. I don't think it would've worked.

There is this psycho lady in Woodley Park who has these amazing moodswings, apropos. She also has a room but leaves these wild voicemail messages on my work phone about how awful I am, then in the same breath asks me when I'm coming to see it. It's rather Woody Allen.

SPEAKING of Woody Allen (yet another segue), on Friday it was decided that my co-worker and I needed an Embassy Trip to New York! So I've been to New York! What a fabulous madhouse! I can't wait to see it properly in September. We had lunch with this incredibly wealthy Australian widow who is on the International Council of MoMA (pronounced momma, not Moe-mah, like I always thought it was) who is friends with people like Edward Albee. I want to be her when I grow up. The MoMA restaurant is like a Sex and the City set. I had olive oil icecream. We were intending to go to MoMA but the line was too long so we went to Tiffany's instead (but of course), before checking out this exhibition in TriBeCa which is coming to the Embassy in January. I also saw my first F-List celebrity: the creepy vampire guy with the fake British accent from Project Runway 3.

On Thursday night I worked my first event in DC- the opening of our Painted Stories- Contemporary Aboriginal Women's Art at the Embassy, along with a display by Cerrone Jewellers which included a million dollar necklace. I did good. Was pleased with myself. Didn't embarass myself or not recognise anyone I should've. Even made some friends- two guys from Florida doing an internship on the Hill. I actually thought they were a couple, but it turns out they were straight. Am going to have a drink with them during the week.

I tried doing touristy things today to lift myself out of the homeless doldrums I had last night (I think it was also related to the cute gay roommates getting ready for some crazy socialising whilst I was accompanied only by Austin Powers in an empty condo)- two Smithsonians- the Nat History (kinda neat) and the American History (kinda dull, but I'm not really their target market). The September 11 stuff was moving- a crumpled airphone from one of the planes and the flag that was draped over the burnt wall of the Pentagon on the 12th and so on. Also saw the White House- so go me. Anyway, the Smithsonians are wonderful and free so may they prosper forever.


Blogger anney said...

You know it all sounds incredibly glamourous and fun! I think it overshadows the homelessness thing. And here I am in Brisbane where the most exciting thing I did this week was go to Sizzlers.

Still v jealous and it is good to hear that your first event went well - go you mad sexy thing you!!

9:01 PM  
Blogger Ian said...

I ate at a Peruvian Chicken dive last night. I was the only person not speaking Spanish. Seriously, I could've been in Mexico.

5:20 PM  
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8:06 PM  

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