Waa, Waa, Waa

I am very depressed right now. I didn't get the Big Gay House. It's yet another Friday night at home and to increase the pathos level I'm wearing my Peter Alexander red car pj pants. I'm in a foreign city with no friends (well, work friends, but I want some non-work friends too). Next week I'm going to Berlin and I should be excited but all I can think of is that I need to find somewhere to live. If I'm still homeless when I'm there I'm not going to be able to relax.

At work this afternoon when I found that BGH was not to be mine, Xena asked very kindly (not patronisingly, which is how it may read) if I was going to cry. I said no- obviously it was disappointing but not worth a sob. Then I saw the basement apartment Golden Boy had told me about and almost did when I realised what was almost mine for only $900/mo compared to what I was currently looking at for $1150/mo (unfurnished). Dark, airless, lino floors and wires taped to the walls. And a dryer in the middle of the kitchen. (not on a wall. on the floor. in the middle).

It's all Just Too Hard at the moment but nothing is going to magically make it better so I just need to soldier on and it will resolve itself.